Time To Let Go

Amunet Trujillo: By the time they get to the van, she’s managed to sufficiently stomp down every emotion and is breathing normally. Still moving slowly, she pulls herself up into the passenger seat and leaning back with her eyes closed.

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: “Does the dressing need changed already?” She sits in the driver’s seat, starting up the van and pulling away. They can have it on the side of the road if they want, but NOT here.

Amunet Trujillo: “I think it’s mostly clotted. I’ll have to clean it all and shit still.”

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: “Okay.” She pulls out a couple of cigarettes, lighing them both off one match and handing one to her.

“So. Um.”

Amunet Trujillo: She takes one, head down so her hair covers her face. “I didn’t know how to tell you. That was shitty though. I’m sorry.”

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: “I’ll admit, it wasn’t how I’d like to find out.” She exhales a drag of smoke. “So when did this happen?”

Amunet Trujillo: “Hasn’t yet. He’s got to talk to you first.”

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: “Y’damn skippy he does.” It doesn’t come out too harshly, to her credit. She sighs and runs a hand through her hair. “This just…Jesus, Amy. That’s kinda out of nowhere, y’know?”

Amunet Trujillo: “I’m tired of being out in the middle of nowhere. He’s good to me.”

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: “Okay, great. But…I mean, are you really up for that? You know that’s not a temporary thing. And…you know, so soon after…” She takes a breath and sighs. “…after John.”

Amunet Trujillo: Her lips press together for a second, and she takes in a lungful of smoke before she answers. “That was a mistake. A weakness. The sooner I move on and refocus the better it will be.”

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: She frowns. “What do you mean, a mistake?”

Amunet Trujillo: The smoke is blown out the window before she answers “I mean it was a mistake. It’s all bullshit. I don’t know where the fuck I forgot that, but forgetting doesn’t change it. I made a mistake,and let something emotional take over.”

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: “So what…you don’t believe in actually loving someone anymore?”

Amunet Trujillo: It’s not about not believing it. I’m just not going to make that mistake again.

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: She frowns, and looks out the window. “So you’re going to mate yourself off lovelessly.”

Amunet Trujillo: “He cares about me and I care about him. It’s practical, Sar. He doesn’t make me feel like my insides are getting ripped out.”

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: “But he doesn’t make you feel complete, either.”

Amunet Trujillo: “What GOOD does that do? All that means is that I never have to worry about having that taken away.”

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: She’s quiet for a long moment. “You’re really starting to scare me, Ames.”

Amunet Trujillo: “I fucked Hunter. That’s why I went back to the house and got the power on and everything” She keeps her head down, peeling the bandage off her stomach slowly.

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: “Oh.” A pause, and her eyes widen. She looks over at Amy. “OH.”

Amunet Trujillo: “Everything was going to be okay. I had this tiny piece of everything that was gone, and there was this person that knew how much John mean to me and about my past and everything and he got it. It made it hurt less, and I could deal with it.

Amunet Trujillo: She takes another drag of the cigarette, shrugging her shoulder. “And then he changed his mind

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: “Que puto idiota.” She rubs the heels of her hands against her eyes. “Okay, so he’s a moron. I get that. But…”

Amunet Trujillo: “Stefan isn’t ever going to do that. Even if everything goes completely to shit, we’ll renegotiate, and go on our own way. I don’t have to worry about ever having to feel like this again.”

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: She sighs. “Does he know?”

Amunet Trujillo: “Not yet.”

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: “Are you gonna tell him? I think he kind of deserves to know how you feel.”

Amunet Trujillo: “I know. I will. That might be the end of it right there, really.”

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: She sighs. “So what does this mean for us?”

Amunet Trujillo: “You’ve got your pack, I’ve got my mate. Same as it meant before.”

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: “If he tries to take you completely or even mostly away from me, I’m going to carve his esophugus like it’s a damn totem pole.”

Amunet Trujillo: “He’s not going to take me away from you. Jesus Sar. He doesn’t believe in fucking love anymore than I do. This isn’t some big romantic fucking gesture, it’s an arrangement. I can do things, without those assholes standing in my way. He’s got a position in the Sept already. There’s potential there.

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: She sighs and shakes her head, exhaling a drag of smoke. “This is what you really want?”

Amunet Trujillo: “I want shit I can’t have. This makes sense. He’s good to me Sar. This won’t be like Leon.”

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: “This is so fucked.”

Amunet Trujillo: “How is this any worse than you tying yourself to a bunch of people you don’t know? This is just one”

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: “Say what?”

Amunet Trujillo: “It’s not any worse than packing up with people”

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: She frowns. “I didn’t say mating was bad. Or packing, for that matter. You did.”

Amunet Trujillo: “It’s not.”

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: She’s quiet for a moment, staring out the window. “Just ask me.”

Amunet Trujillo: “Ask you what?”

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: “You’re trying to convince me. Just ask.”

Amunet Trujillo: “Let him claim me. Please.

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: “If he ever does anything to hurt you. I swear to fucking god, Amy…” She frowns. “I’m already about ready to go introduce a steamroller to Hunter, up close and personal.”

Amunet Trujillo: “I’m not going to let him get close enough to hurt me.”

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: She sighs and reaches out, fingers winding in Amy’s. “Yeah. Okay, I guess.”

Amunet Trujillo: “He’s good to me, Sar.”

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: “C’mere.” She reaches over to draw her sister gently into a hug. Her eyes squeeze tight and while she doesn’t do anything to press the wound, it’s very clear for a moment that she’s holding on for dear life.

Amunet Trujillo: She holds onto her tightly, ignoring the wound. “You’re the only reason I’m not dead, Sar. I’d have blown my goddamned brains out by now otherwise.”

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: “I love you.” She shakes her head, not letting go. “Fuck the world. Us against it.”

Amunet Trujillo: She sniffles, then takes a deep breath. “You too. Fuck it.”

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: She lets out a slow, shaky breath. “Yeah. Yeah, fine. I agree.”

Amunet Trujillo: “It’ll be better. I won’t be all fucking crazy and wrapped up in it. You won’t get sick of hearing about him.”

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: “I just hope that you get what you’re looking to find out of it.”

Amunet Trujillo: “I will. I’m not going to try to make it into something it isn’t.”

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: She squeezes one more and pulls back, moving to sit. “Oh, fuck me. I hate March.”

Amunet Trujillo: She sniffles again, eyes closed tight and the knuckle of her thumb pressed between her eyes until she calms again. “Okay. Now what?”

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: “What, you think I got a lot of experience in this? You know I play this shit by ear, right?”

Amunet Trujillo: “I should probably go back and lay everything out to him, since I’m in a sharing mood.”

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: She wipes and her eyes and nods. “You want me to drive you?”

Amunet Trujillo: “You want me to walk to Lake View with a stab wound?”

Sarita Ecos de la Risa: She laughs a little and nods. “Point.” She starts up the van and starts to drive.

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